the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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