i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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