don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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