my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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