Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
