so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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