The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.