Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.