Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth