i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips