I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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