he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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