It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sext me about skeletons
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
