That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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