He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
