Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
