Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bring me that man meat
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
