I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
