atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
handjob tips. give me some.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
