Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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