Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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