next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
