is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
