ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
