Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
