just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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