are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
