no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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