I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
