Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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