I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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