My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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