Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
