so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
