gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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