I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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