buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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