Already got asked if we're dating
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
