i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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