All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize