The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
