he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
