this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
