we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My cat gives me a boner
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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