those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
