to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize