hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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