TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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