I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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