I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize