Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
