I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
