OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
