is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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