i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize