Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
