I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
