What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
