The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize