the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
